-------------- Original message --------------
From: CHRIS
Hello, Just thought I'd drop a thinking of you note :) I check the site at least once a week, so therefore I cry at least once a week. Working in church ministry, I have my "Christian Blinders" on. I assume everyone believes in God, --- I've learned that's not true, I assume every one believes in 'a' heaven, --- not true, I assume everyone would want their loved one to 'go to heaven to be with Jesus' well that's not true either. I assume everyone believes in a life eternal through Jesus giving his life on the cross, the paschal lamb, the rent garments, the temple's veil torn, the washing of the feet, the veneration of the cross, the lighting of the Easter Fire, the reading of Exodus 15 - crossing the red sea, "I'm Free- Thank God I'm Free"

With Mike's passing the week of Palm Sunday, it put me crazy behind at work with preparation for Holy Week, but because of Mike's passing my Easter had a whole new meaning, down to the embers of the Easter Fire, it was all poetic, life has changed, not ended. Wood when burned changes matter, as with our lives.

I was hiking at Tygart Lake last summer when I had an ah'ha moment about how I look at death.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Yeah Yeah, that's the age old question, but once that tree has fallen, you can stand in the almost blinding light on the forest floor left by the hole in the canopy of the forest. Where life had been suppressed before, it can now shed some light where there had been only darkness/shade before. Mike's death for me is that light on the forest floor, so much was revealed to me in the fragility of life. Does that help you, no it doesn't, and it shouldn't. I can't get a grip on life, and that's because I'm not supposed to. The life we live is not our own, if our life has not impacted the world around us, then we have held our life too tightly, but if we have let go of our life, and shared it with others and led others to a deeper understanding of something, even if it is just a deeper understanding of themselves, then our life goal is accomplished. That's what hit me the hardest at Mike's funeral was your statement of how he had helped you become who you were not changed you into who he wanted you to be, but helped you be who you want to be. You are a beautiful person, and one of the few family members I proudly claim! :) I hope all is as well as it can be. We think about you all the time, and our thoughts are with you. Hope to see you soon (this summer) we'll keep in touch as to when.
Keep up the writing and I'll keep up the crying!

Peace,
Chris